We all have an emotional mind, a rational mind and a wise mind. When your child is in a crisis, you really want your wise mind to be the driving force in you so that you can be helpful and reasonable and in doing so, contribute to the containment of the crisis. However, when our children are in crisis, we all feel an overwhelming range of feelings. This is completely normal. Unfortunately, when we feel overwhelming feelings, our emotional mind tends to take over and we may say or do something that is not very helpful. How does one get into your wise mind at these times?
Just try and do the following ABC steps of coping before you deal with the crisis.
Whatever you feel right now, accept it – suppose you feel you can’t cope, say to yourself:
“I can’t cope right now, but that is ok”
Believe that you can help. Say to yourself:
“I feel really distressed, but that is ok”
Step C: You can cope with this. Take one big breath in and as you breathe out, say to yourself: “ I can do this”
Now repeat the ABC a couple of times till you feel calmer and then start looking for the information you need.